The word “surrender” conjures up different images and feelings for different people. For some, it may evoke a sense of defeat or weakness. For others, it may represent an act of strength and courage. We all have experienced pain in our lives. We have all been let down, disappointed, and even betrayed, and when we share these deep hurts, it is only natural to want to protect ourselves from further pain. We attempt to put up walls and build fortresses around our hearts to prevent us from being hurt again. But in doing so, we also keep out the love and joy that life has to offer.
At its core, surrendering means letting go. It means forgiving, accepting, and owning our stories. It means stopping to ruminate on what we can’t control. In short, it means making peace with us and the world around us. The power of surrendering allows us to forgive, let go of the past, and move on with our lives. It will enable us to own our stories and to stop ruminating on what we can’t control.
To understand surrendering, it’s essential to understand what it is not. Surrendering is not giving up or being passive. It’s not about putting our lives on hold or making excuses for our behaviour. Instead, the offering is an active process of mindfulness and intentional living.
Surrendering is often tricky because it requires us to relinquish control. For many of us, control is something that we feel we need to survive. We mistakenly believe that if we let go of control, anything and everything will go wrong. This could not be further from the truth. Holding onto our hurt only gives it more power over us. It prevents us from living in the present and experiencing all life offers. When we are bogged down by anger, resentment, and regret, we cannot focus on the good in our lives. We become stuck in a vicious cycle of rumination and negative thinking.
When we surrender, we let go of the need to control everything in our lives. We stop ruminating on things we can’t change and focus on the present moment. This doesn’t mean that we don’t care about our future or that we’re okay with things staying the same—it just means that we’re not going to allow the stress of things outside our control to rule our lives.
Surrendering is crucial because it allows us to live our lives more fully and with greater purpose. When we can let go of the hurtful experiences of the past, we are freed up to focus on the present moment and on creating a more positive future for ourselves. Surrendering also allows us to have more compassion for ourselves and others. Finally, when we surrender, we open ourselves up to receiving love, joy, and happiness – all of which are essential ingredients for a fulfilling life.
The process of surrendering is nowhere easy; it requires decision, strength, and conscious awareness; there is no one-size-fits-all approach to surrendering. The process will look different for everyone depending on the individual’s unique circumstances. However, some common elements are typically involved in the process of surrendering. These include:
- Identifying and acknowledging the painful experience or situation that we are holding onto.
- Deciding to let go of this hurt.
- Forgiving ourselves or others involved in the painful experience.
- Accepting that the experience is part of our story
- Learning any lessons that we need to learn from the experience and
- Taking steps to move on from the background (e.g., seeking professional help if required).
Of course, even after we have gone through the process of surrendering, there may be times when we find ourselves revisiting these hurtful experiences from our past. This is normal and to be expected. Whenever this happens, we can remind ourselves that we have already decided to let go and are now on the path to healing and wholeness.
