People often ask me, as a therapist, what I believe is the secret to happiness. My answer is always the same: living a value-based life. What does that mean, you may be wondering? It means making decisions based on your values rather than what others think you should do, what society tells you is necessary, or what will make you the most money. Instead, you base your decisions on what you believe is truly important to you.
Your life values develop throughout your lifetime. They may change as you grow older and your circumstances change. For example, achievement may be at the top of your list when you’re working hard to establish your career and financial security. But once you’ve achieved these goals, other values such as freedom, creativity or adventure may become more critical.
Another way to clarify your values is to consider what you want out of life. What kind of lifestyle do you want? What kind of relationships do you want? What type of career do you want? Once again, the answers to these questions will give you clues as to what your values are.
You can also try to recognise your values, thinking about what qualities you admire in other people. These qualities could be anything from honesty and integrity to independence and strength. Once you have a list of markers, ask yourself which ones are most important to you.
You can also try thinking about times in your life when you felt good about yourself or what you were doing. What were the circumstances surrounding those times? What were you doing? Who were you with? When you identify the common factors between those positive experiences, you will start to get an idea of what your values are.
Your life values are the things that you believe are important and determine your priorities, and deep down, they’re probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to. They guide your behaviour and decision-making and define who you are as a person. Values are the compass that can set your life straight.
Living a value-based life can be difficult sometimes, but it’s always worth it. You will always be true to yourself when you make decisions based on your values. You will never have to second-guess your choices or wonder if you made the right decision, and when you are true to yourself, happiness follows.
Now that we’ve talked about why values are so important let’s talk about how you can start living a value-based life,
- Identify Your Values: The first step is recognising what your values are. This can be more difficult than it seems because we often have competing values—for example, time with family vs time for ourselves, financial security vs freedom, etc. However, we can plot a list and grade each topic by asking ourselves how vital each subject is.
- Prioritise Your Values: Once you know your values, the next step is deciding which ones are most important to you.
3) Make Decisions Based On Your Priorities: Now that you have identified your priorities, you can make any decision following considering these options, as that way, you are guaranteed that your choices would be aligned with your values
Living a value-based life is the key to happiness. We stay true to ourselves when we make decisions based on our values instead of what others think we should do. We never have to second-guess our choices or wonder if we made the right decision.
Developing an awareness of your values is important because they act as a guiding post to help you make decisions throughout your life. Your values also influence the goals you set for yourself and how you go about achieving them. Values help you identify your strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. Spend some time alone reflecting on what brings you joy and fulfilment.
Lastly, live in alignment with your values by making decisions that reflect what is important to you, such as spending more time with family or taking a round-the-world trip if travel is something that brings meaning into our life. Living a fulfilling life begins with recognising our own individual set of life values.
