We all go into life wanting to achieve goals and succeed in what we do. However, we encounter doubts about finding our true path and even living up to our dreams, we feel inspired by observing what others achieve, but we may feel like that may not be us. We all have family metaphors passed on to us that act like recordings stopping us from feeling deserving, capable, and motivated enough to pursue our goals because before we start, we may already think of the worst outcome.
There is ample evidence that having good self-esteem and success in life go hand in hand. Self-esteem is an integral part of our overall mental health and well-being, and it impacts how we feel about ourselves and how others perceive us and affect the choices and decisions we make in life.
Self-esteem can be defined as “the opinion one has of oneself, based on one’s worth and abilities”. People with high self-esteem tend to be confident, assertive, and successful in their environments. In contrast, people with low self-esteem often lack confidence, shy away from challenges, and may not believe they can achieve success, therefore, may not even attempt to make a change.
It appears that when one has a healthy level of appreciation for one’s strengths and can recognise one’s true value, then one feels confidently empowered to move in life with a robust attitude towards life’s choices and courageous enough to make some goals and fuel energy to pursue them.
Good self-esteem fosters self-confidence, and while they usually are paired, they are different; self-confidence is about trusting yourself, while self-esteem is about valuing yourself.
Combining your past experiences, current situations, and cultural influences shapes self-esteem. For example, suppose you were raised in an environment where criticism was common or had a negative experience with your family or at school that impacted your sense of worthiness. In that case, this could lead to lower levels of self-esteem. On the other hand, if you experienced the opposite, an environment of validation of your emotions, acceptance of your strengths and efforts and nurturing adults around you probably, your self-esteem would be high, as these positive experiences will inform how you view yourself today.
Moreover, despite your self-esteem not being as optimal as you would like it to be because you needed those ideal adult figures around you combined with the right experiences, it’s still possible to develop a healthy level of self-esteem.
Self-esteem can be improved through conscious effort, challenging negative thought patterns and practice. Some factors influencing your self-esteem may be out of your control, such as past experiences, as we can’t bring them back and re-do them, but we can learn to let them go and not allow them to affect us.
- Start by recognising negative thoughts about yourself and challenging them; instead of focusing on things you think you cannot do well or areas where you feel weak, focus on the things that make you unique such as skills or talents that set you apart from others.
- Set yourself one small, realistic daily goal to achieve and reward yourself.
- Practice positive affirmations, “I’m capable”, and “I can do this.”
- Surround yourself with supportive people that see your talents and gifts and encourage you towards your goals and allow you to follow your dreams
- Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as learning new skills or hobbies.
- Give yourself time for self-care and look after your physical health, making yourself a priority.
- Be kind to yourself when making mistakes, and see them as opportunities to learn from
- Keep motivated with your goal in mind to succeed, and never give up.
Having a healthy level of self-esteem is necessary to live a meaningful life, to be able to make clear choices, and take steps based on your strengths and not out of doubts or insecurities. Challenging negative thoughts and engaging in confidence-boosting activities help you build a stronger sense of self, grow a stronger mindset, and set yourself free from fear.
Remember, the key is YOU need to believe in yourself because no one knows you better than you, and you need to trust that all that is within you must shine and be seen by others. Because when you love yourself and value yourself, others will mirror that effect and love you similarly. So, start cultivating healthy self-esteem patterns with the abovementioned steps because you deserve to tap into your potential and affirm your worthiness.
