At the beginning of 2023, I stood at a crossroads of anticipation and uncertainty. The year lay ahead like an unwritten book, its chapters hidden and its narratives undefined.
During these unknowns, my anchor was a meticulously charted plan for the coming twelve months, encompassing every sphere of my life—my business, professional goals, personal growth, and the cherished sphere of family. With a palette of colourful markers, I transformed a simple wall planner into a vivid tapestry of events and milestones. Each colour represented a different aspect of my life, turning the planner into a rainbow of aspirations and commitments.
I remember stepping back and feeling a wave of satisfaction wash over me as I admired the neatly organised display of my year ahead, each event carefully plotted with precision and hope. The array of colours not only organized my schedule but also symbolised the varied and vibrant aspects of my life. It was a visual representation of all I hoped to achieve and experience, a neatly arranged forecast of future times.
Yet, in the back of my mind, I knew that life often has its rhythm, a melody that sometimes harmonises with our plans and plays an entirely different tune at other times. However, this knowledge has always kept me from having control and direction. In that moment of early 2023, with my plans laid out before me, I felt prepared and eager to embrace whatever the year might bring, ready to adapt and grow with each new day, but I also felt a little uncertain.
Nevertheless, as the year unfolded, it brought a series of unforeseen and heartrending events. It began with the devastating news of a family member’s illness. In a shockingly brief period, her struggle ended, and her soul departed from this world, leaving behind a profound sense of loss and grief in our family. The sorrow had barely begun to settle when I received my life-altering news: a diagnosis of cancer. This revelation meant that the months ahead would be filled with procedures, treatments, and uncertainties, a journey I had not planned or foreseen.
Amidst grappling with my health, another blow struck – the sudden passing of my father-in-law. His departure added another layer of grief and loss to our already burdened hearts. And when it seemed like the tide of sorrow could rise no higher, my daughter was involved in a severe accident, intensifying the storm of distress and worry that had enveloped our family.
In the face of these relentless waves of hardship, all we could do was take one day at a time. It might sound chaotic; indeed, 2023 seemed like a year that one would rather forget. Yet, paradoxically, it also emerged as my year of profound growth. Each challenge, each moment of despair, and each instance of overcoming a struggle taught me resilience, the strength of family bonds, and the unanticipated capacity of the human spirit to heal and find hope.
By now, you know that my beautiful planner never made it far, nor did my scheduled events or plans; I saw them all wash away; amidst the grief and trials, there was learning and an unexpected evolution of my soul and being. The year, 2023, with all its trials and tribulations, was a testament to survival and a journey of profound personal growth and transformation.
In this whirlwind of personal turmoil and loss, I haven’t touched on the professional and business challenges that came my way. Despite the year’s emotional and physical toll, I shouldered the responsibility of steering my business through these turbulent times. With every ounce of strength left in my body, I endeavoured to maintain stability in my professional life. I often tried to face these challenges with a smile, an attempt to infuse a bit of positivity amidst the chaos. But the reality was that my body and spirit were exhausted and depleted.
I often found myself physically unable to be present where needed, whether at essential meetings or critical business decisions. The relentless pace of these challenges took its toll, not just emotionally but also physically. Balancing the demands of a business while navigating personal health issues and grieving multiple losses felt like an impossible task. Each day brought its struggles as I tried to muster the energy and focus required to keep my professional commitments. It was a test of endurance, pushing me to the limits of my capabilities.
This period was not just about managing a business; it was about confronting the harsh realities of life and the vulnerabilities of human existence. It taught me about the fragility of health, the unpredictability of life, and the immense strength it takes to continue in the face of overwhelming adversity. The experience was a profound reminder of the need for compassion – both for others and for me – and the importance of taking a step back when needed to heal and recover.
In my usual role as the caregiver, who tends to others’ needs, I’ve always been perceived as the strong one, the pillar of support for those around me. Being the provider rather than the care receiver has been a fundamental part of my identity. However, the tumultuous events of 2023 confronted me with the stark reality of my human fragility. This realisation was a jolting yet transformative experience. It was a profound reminder that strength does not preclude vulnerability and that even the caregivers need care.
Faced with the overwhelming challenges of health, loss, and professional pressures, I found myself at a crossroads where human effort alone seemed insufficient. In this moment of vulnerability and helplessness, I turned towards seeking solace in something greater than myself – divine guidance. My search for strength and hope transcended the physical realm, seeking a miracle to navigate this storm. This spiritual quest was not just about seeking external help but also about an inner transformation – acknowledging my limitations, embracing my vulnerabilities, and opening myself to the possibility of receiving human and divine support.
Turning to faith, spirituality, or a higher power can be a powerful source of comfort and resilience in times of crisis. It connects to something larger than our struggles, providing a perspective that helps us cope with life’s challenges. For me, seeking divine guidance became a beacon of hope, a source of necessary and profound strength. It was about believing in the possibility of miracles in the darkest of times and the realisation that, sometimes, surrendering to a higher power and accepting support is an act of courage and strength, not weakness. This spiritual journey was a crucial element in my path towards healing and finding the resilience to pull through the adversities of the year.
This was the start of my soulful journey…In my next blog, I will share what my steps were…
